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| "Its OK to fall folks! Laugh over it, and the next moment before you realize, a helping hand is there waiting for you to reach out. Pick up, and be strong! - Satya Yoga, June 2012 |
It was 5.30am when I woke up - in silence - that morning. There was no alarm clock. No hitting of snooze button. No grogginess. Just the peacefulness of my body waking up of its own accord. I lie in bed, thinking of what I had intended to do: a morning yoga practice. And the old excuses came flooding back: Fatigue, the desire for more sleep and then, the eventual consciousness of the soreness of a bruise that came from an emotional hurt.
It would be easier to pull up the blanket and roll myself back into sleep again. But Megha's words came looming - louder than any alarm clock I own - in my mind: Unless you bring that practice into your daily routine though, the ache that you experienced and the emotional issues you were going through will not go away. In fact your body will be better able to cope with the emotional as well as physical pain with regular yoga practice.
With a will to free myself from the emotional and physical issues I am dealing with, I heaved myself out of my bed and created a space in my room to unroll and spread out my yoga mat. There was another struggle between the body and the mind as I got ready to start the practice. I did not even want to switch on the lights, ready to crawl back to bed if I decided to stop halfway. Honestly, I was not that confident that I could do this the previous night before, but I was grateful - and amazed - that I could wake up on my own accord and had a go for the morning practice. "The Universe is supporting you with your intent," I told myself. "Let's get moving."
So in darkness, I started on my varied sets of sun salutations. It was not that bad, and by the time I finished the first five sets of the sun salutations, I felt the drip of sweat from my forehead in my Adho Mukha Svanasana pose. And as I pushed myself to complete the second set of sun salutations, I wanted to relax directly into Savasana. But a voice said, "No, you can do more than this. Go on." And I continued with the next few poses that I remembered from my weekly practice. However, as these poses did not come as familar as the sun salutations, I felt disconnected from the practice and my mind began to wander, feeling the the stir of some emotions within me. With each breath I took in the asana I was in, there was a growing awareness of some surfacing emotions: anger, disappointment, indignity and the final punch - betrayal.
I began to doubt the good of having a morning practice when all it did was starting the day bad with all these negative vehemence raging within me. "How can I get over these old issues?" I asked myself, as I moved from Utthita Trikonasana to Parivrtta Trikonasana, "And where the hell do I place my hands in this pose? Do I have to bend the knees? Maybe, I should." And just I decided to shift my legs slightly backward with one of my hand up in the air and another on the mat, my body disaligned and I lost my balance.
"Ooopss..." and a thud as I landed with my buttocks on the floor, my legs sprawled in an awkward position under me, both back and front. But I was not injured, after checking myself. And the fall was not that hard as I remembered shifting my muscles and weight in that nifty second before I touched ground so that it would be a natural landing. "It would have looked graceful - if anyone had been looking." I joked to myself, and proceeded to pick myself up. I exerted strength on my hands and legs - still spreaded unglamourously beneath me - to haul myself off the floor. In an effortless move, I was up and steady again. Even I was amazed at how there had been some amount of swiftness and lightness in the movement. I checked myself again, "Amazing! No twisted ankle, back and neck. I'm good!"
I retracted into my standing position and got on my two feet to switch on my bed light to see how a proper Parivrtta Trikonasana should be done with my reference sheet. I attempted to try again, and mimicked the model in her position. And though not feeling as nimble as the lady in the picture, I swinged my hand upwards into position again, with my legs properly anchored on the floor (no need to bend the knees). And as I eased myself into the pose to hold for five breaths, these words suddenly came washing over me: Learn to fall - and pick yourself up - gracefully. You have the inner strength within yourself to do it.
The peace and bliss that flooded into my heart thereafter, was indescribable and incredulous. After finishing up the last two poses, I finally allowed myself to collapse and rest in Savasana. The revelation that came from the words that had popped from the morning practice, cleared up to become the answer that I had been seeking for the emotional bruise I had been nursing. It's alright to fall - physically, professionally and emotionally. How we pick ourself up and recover from the fall is important. Every fall we take has a lesson behind it. If we chose to ignore that lesson, we will fall again. So whenever we have a slip or fall, think of it as a lesson learnt. It happens to everyone, and it is up to us to make it graceful. And the way we pick ourself up gracefully is another level of our inner strength.
The soreness and bruise I held, had been a fall that would have come similiar with a rejection. I suffered a blow in my ego and pride, and I was not gracious enough to admit there was nothing wrong in the situation and there was no need for a detailed explanation from anyone. The morning practice revealed to me that, each of us has the ability to accept a fall and pick ourself up gracefully with our inner strength. And the lesson from the emotional fall for me was, to gracefully bow out of a situation. It is the ability to recognise the grudge and bitterness I am holding onto will neither help me to move on nor forward, and much less, bring the odds to my favour. And just as being graceful means having the strength to pick myself up again when I fall, it also means having faith in myself that I am strong enough to bow out gracefully when need be.
I felt liberated from this realisation. Yes, the ego was injured, but other than that, the heart was not broken. So, let go of the expectations, let go of how l think things are supposed to be and most importantly, the attachment to the situation. Get over this victim mentality, and move on!
Pick up, and spring back to action!
.
.
.
.
It was too late by the time he alerted me of the stone that lie in my path and I tripped over it. It was a stumble that if I know if I do not recover my footing, I could well land flat on the ground with a face-plant. A quick flumble of footwork and steps, and I managed to regain my balance miraculously. And except for the embarassing act in front of my peer, I was perfectly fine.
And before I knew it - upon regaining my composure - I threw back my head and let out a hard, LOUD laugh; the kind that comes from the gut, from being caught off guard and something totally hilarious. It was such a rush of adrenaline, to release such a raw, powerful and joyful emotion. Soon after, I heard him laughing along with me, a spontaneous deep-bellied one. And it felt good, and a wonderful way to bond.
Life is too short to take yourself too seriously. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, even if you have missed a footing.
It would be easier to pull up the blanket and roll myself back into sleep again. But Megha's words came looming - louder than any alarm clock I own - in my mind: Unless you bring that practice into your daily routine though, the ache that you experienced and the emotional issues you were going through will not go away. In fact your body will be better able to cope with the emotional as well as physical pain with regular yoga practice.
With a will to free myself from the emotional and physical issues I am dealing with, I heaved myself out of my bed and created a space in my room to unroll and spread out my yoga mat. There was another struggle between the body and the mind as I got ready to start the practice. I did not even want to switch on the lights, ready to crawl back to bed if I decided to stop halfway. Honestly, I was not that confident that I could do this the previous night before, but I was grateful - and amazed - that I could wake up on my own accord and had a go for the morning practice. "The Universe is supporting you with your intent," I told myself. "Let's get moving."
So in darkness, I started on my varied sets of sun salutations. It was not that bad, and by the time I finished the first five sets of the sun salutations, I felt the drip of sweat from my forehead in my Adho Mukha Svanasana pose. And as I pushed myself to complete the second set of sun salutations, I wanted to relax directly into Savasana. But a voice said, "No, you can do more than this. Go on." And I continued with the next few poses that I remembered from my weekly practice. However, as these poses did not come as familar as the sun salutations, I felt disconnected from the practice and my mind began to wander, feeling the the stir of some emotions within me. With each breath I took in the asana I was in, there was a growing awareness of some surfacing emotions: anger, disappointment, indignity and the final punch - betrayal.
I began to doubt the good of having a morning practice when all it did was starting the day bad with all these negative vehemence raging within me. "How can I get over these old issues?" I asked myself, as I moved from Utthita Trikonasana to Parivrtta Trikonasana, "And where the hell do I place my hands in this pose? Do I have to bend the knees? Maybe, I should." And just I decided to shift my legs slightly backward with one of my hand up in the air and another on the mat, my body disaligned and I lost my balance.
"Ooopss..." and a thud as I landed with my buttocks on the floor, my legs sprawled in an awkward position under me, both back and front. But I was not injured, after checking myself. And the fall was not that hard as I remembered shifting my muscles and weight in that nifty second before I touched ground so that it would be a natural landing. "It would have looked graceful - if anyone had been looking." I joked to myself, and proceeded to pick myself up. I exerted strength on my hands and legs - still spreaded unglamourously beneath me - to haul myself off the floor. In an effortless move, I was up and steady again. Even I was amazed at how there had been some amount of swiftness and lightness in the movement. I checked myself again, "Amazing! No twisted ankle, back and neck. I'm good!"
I retracted into my standing position and got on my two feet to switch on my bed light to see how a proper Parivrtta Trikonasana should be done with my reference sheet. I attempted to try again, and mimicked the model in her position. And though not feeling as nimble as the lady in the picture, I swinged my hand upwards into position again, with my legs properly anchored on the floor (no need to bend the knees). And as I eased myself into the pose to hold for five breaths, these words suddenly came washing over me: Learn to fall - and pick yourself up - gracefully. You have the inner strength within yourself to do it.
The peace and bliss that flooded into my heart thereafter, was indescribable and incredulous. After finishing up the last two poses, I finally allowed myself to collapse and rest in Savasana. The revelation that came from the words that had popped from the morning practice, cleared up to become the answer that I had been seeking for the emotional bruise I had been nursing. It's alright to fall - physically, professionally and emotionally. How we pick ourself up and recover from the fall is important. Every fall we take has a lesson behind it. If we chose to ignore that lesson, we will fall again. So whenever we have a slip or fall, think of it as a lesson learnt. It happens to everyone, and it is up to us to make it graceful. And the way we pick ourself up gracefully is another level of our inner strength.
The soreness and bruise I held, had been a fall that would have come similiar with a rejection. I suffered a blow in my ego and pride, and I was not gracious enough to admit there was nothing wrong in the situation and there was no need for a detailed explanation from anyone. The morning practice revealed to me that, each of us has the ability to accept a fall and pick ourself up gracefully with our inner strength. And the lesson from the emotional fall for me was, to gracefully bow out of a situation. It is the ability to recognise the grudge and bitterness I am holding onto will neither help me to move on nor forward, and much less, bring the odds to my favour. And just as being graceful means having the strength to pick myself up again when I fall, it also means having faith in myself that I am strong enough to bow out gracefully when need be.
I felt liberated from this realisation. Yes, the ego was injured, but other than that, the heart was not broken. So, let go of the expectations, let go of how l think things are supposed to be and most importantly, the attachment to the situation. Get over this victim mentality, and move on!
Pick up, and spring back to action!
.
.
.
.
It was too late by the time he alerted me of the stone that lie in my path and I tripped over it. It was a stumble that if I know if I do not recover my footing, I could well land flat on the ground with a face-plant. A quick flumble of footwork and steps, and I managed to regain my balance miraculously. And except for the embarassing act in front of my peer, I was perfectly fine.
And before I knew it - upon regaining my composure - I threw back my head and let out a hard, LOUD laugh; the kind that comes from the gut, from being caught off guard and something totally hilarious. It was such a rush of adrenaline, to release such a raw, powerful and joyful emotion. Soon after, I heard him laughing along with me, a spontaneous deep-bellied one. And it felt good, and a wonderful way to bond.
Life is too short to take yourself too seriously. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, even if you have missed a footing.
To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.
- William Arthur Ward
